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| June 11, 2009 was the six-year anniversary of my journey to NYC. Hard to believe this blog still exists after all that time, but in the beginning it was often a life line that kept me tethered to sanity. These days I am more grounded, feeling my age (45 will be here in a few weeks) or maybe feeling a bit older than my age and wondering what I can do to change that. I am in a happy marriage and enjoying a new home that is two blocks from my (same old) job. My enthusiasm for teaching was lagging last year, as I struggled with the ongoing maze of health issues. Oddly enough, it appears that most of the problem in recent years has not been MS, but rather more female-oriented issues. Hopefully the surgery I had this summer will bring me back to normal... or whatever the new normal is destined to be. We'll see how it goes as the year unfolds.
As I enter this 7th year of teaching, I'm trying to lighten my heart and my approach. It is so easy to fall into the trap of becoming jaded and broken. It happens to so many teachers... because it is a difficult job and tough to maintain the energy to keep things alive and new for each new classroom full of children. My plan is to try to simplify my life's routine so that I can focus on the daily medicine that keeps me afloat... yoga, good diet, outlets for creativity and time to breathe. We've been considering adoption and I am struggling with the decision, which I won't go into here since that's fodder for another post. Perhaps that is something that could rejuvenate this blog.... hmmm.... In any case, life keeps rolling along and I keep rolling with it. After 7 years of huge life changes on a constant basis, I am hoping that this year is somewhat uneventful. Time will tell, eh? | | |
| I've had more MRIs than I can count. Have you ever had one? It's one of those things that can be very intimidating at first, then tedious and finally (after you get into the double digits) another part of the woodwork of life. I actually am scheduled for 3 MRIs this week and due to a clerical snafu, had to reschedule the first two (which were supposed to occur yesterday) for later in the week. Today they did my thoracic spine, which is my least favorite MRI to get. I'm not sure why. Maybe because you have to lie perfectly still for an hour and there's nothing to sort of hold you in place. Or maybe because I tend to tense up my upper back when I know that's where they're looking. Who knows? All I know is that the procedure itself was not a huge deal, and the nurse and technician were very friendly and kind. But there was one moment that has been sticking with me today. As the technician was placing me in the machine and covering me in sheets, propping up my legs, etc. he was making idle chat... about my job, my life, the progression of my disease... and at one point he sort of blurted out "YOU'RE STILL WORKING?!!?" with a sort of incredulous tone. It was one of those weird MS moments that always give me pause. It's so easy for people to project their own ideas and experience with the illness, reacting in ways that are not always easy to handle on the receiving end. He didn't mean to stir up all of my fears about the future and how long I'll be able to work at my present (and pretty demanding) profession. Who knows why he said it. All I know is that it's the Pea tonight and I am the Princess and sleep feels like it's a million miles away... | | |
| Here's a conversation I overheard between the boys in my 4th Grade Chorus class yesterday: B1: "My lawyer says when I'm 18, I'll get 100 million dollars." B2: "You have a lawyer?" [B1 nods.] B3: "Yeah, well I'll sue you and get all of your money!" B2: "Yeah, me too!" B3: "I'll put lots of bruises on my face and tell them that you did it and then I'll get all of your money!" At this point I jumped in and asked, "Do you think it's okay to lie to get his money?" and the student earnestly said: "But it would be worth it in the end because I'd be rich." I can't tell you how frightening it is to me that this is the legacy we're handing to our children. The knowledge that to lie, cheat and steal is okay as long as you make a profit. | | |
| So far we have completed (or nearly completed) the Living Room, Dining Room, Office and Dave's Practice Room, in addition to a new roof. Still in need of love: Kitchen, Bathrooms, Master Bedroom and common areas. Today, the kitchen renovation is officially underway full-throttle. David is down there now, dilligently pulling up the old flooring which, just like everything else in this place, is rather motley and haphazard. We've hired a contractor, who will begin working on the infrastructure next week. David has done a great job with demo, but there is still much to do. The walls will be gutted and new plumbing and electric installed. Pretty much everything will change, except the refrigerator, radiator, window and doors. I'm researching appliances today and we will go out later to IKEA and Green Depot to investigate cabinets and countertops. We've been drawing up plans for months now, consulting with friends (many of whom are also experts) researching like mad, finally, finally, finally (!) it is all becoming a reality. So much fun! | | |
| Well, I know it's officially the holiday season. Because of Thanksgiving and all of its trappings? The smell of pine and gingerbread? Black Friday? The surge of decorated houses in the neighborhood? The chill in the air? Um, no. All good guesses, but I know it's time for the holidays for one reason alone... I've had my first school-oriented winter concert nightmare. Yes, I awoke from my Thanksgiving vacation's full night of sleep with a head filled with anxiety over the details for our concert that is three weeks away and yet, I'm sooo not ready. Yes, I tend to panic a few weeks out from a concert, fretting over all the details... and in the end it always works out, but this year, it truly did sneak up on me. Too many obstacles this year to get the ball rolling in time. *sigh* No recourse but to come up with a plan of action. And so it goes... | | |
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